Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Suicides Increase as Bush Tax Cuts Expire

SAINT PETERSBURG - FLA Health officials in Saint Petersburg, Florida, long known as "God's Waiting Room" because of its aging population of elderly, have noted a significant increase in suicides by the wealthy retirees who are taking advantage of the one time, 2010 estate tax moratorium, which expires December 31, 2010. Under the law, no estate tax will be due for those dying in 2010, but the tax reverts to the former rate of 55% on estates over $1,000,000 for those meeting their Lord on January 1, 2011, and thereafter.

"It's just a matter of dollars and cents and sense," said financial advisor Raymond J. Schwab. "If you are getting old and would rather leave your hard-earned or inherited fortune to your sons and daughters, even though they might piss it away, than to Uncle Sam, who is sure to piss it away, the choice is clear. From a financial point of view, there is the added benefit of year-end casket sales at many funeral homes."

Schwab cautioned his clients who were contemplating making the move to plan carefully. "Check your insurance policies to make sure that there is no suicide exclusion. If there is, make your suicide appear as an accident. Purchase instruction books from the Hemlock Society under an assumed name."

Pinellas County Public Health Nurse Harriet Jambalaya said that her department was braced for a substantial increase in questionable deaths at nursing homes, especially after family visits.

Although vigorously denied by the White House, Fox News pundit Glenn Beck suggested that heirs-in-waiting might want to avail themselves of the Death Panels created by Obamacare to insure that grandma's departure is well-timed.

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