Monday, March 30, 2020

Trump Order Cell Phone Ventilators

WASHINGTON, DC March 30, 2020
President Trump today invoked the Defense Procurement Act to require cell phone manufacturers to produce programs that will make everyone's mobile phone into a ventilator.  "I have today invoked the Defense Procurement Act to require Apple and Google to make programs, sometimes called 'apps' that will make their cell phones into ventilators.  I told Tim Cook that I want the iPhones to work by holding them up to a person's nose and have lifesaving oxygen come out of the speaker holes, and the guy with a foreign-sounding name who runs Google to make a program so that the adenoids (sic) phones do the same."    Trump told a press conference on the Rose Garden lawn that this was entirely possible by Dr. Ben Carson, and easily done.  "It will be beautiful", Trump said. The programs will be available on the iTunes store for a nominal charge or can be downloaded free on the www.makeamericagreatagain.net website starting Good Friday.