Newspapers Change Death Notices

NEW YORK - The New York Times today announced that it has changed its format for reporting death notices.  Starting January 1, 2013,  the section formerly called "Obituaries" will now be called "The Rainbow Bridge".

"This change was brought about to make the passing of notable people less troubling and has been used for years when pet owners have announced the death of a favorite pet, such as a dog, cat, parrot, or even a gerbil" said New York Times Death Editor Shawn "Bye-Bye" Wilson-Carrot.  "Our focus group preferred "The Rainbow Bridge" over such other suggestions as "Too Soon, But Not Too Late", and "Here Yesterday, Gone Today."
Not to be outdone, Ruppert Murdock has instructed the management of The Wall Street Journal to change the obituary section title of that newspaper from the simple "Deaths" to "Early Retirement".