Auxiliary Air Marshal Program Created

WASHINGTON D.C. - The Department of Homeland Security today announced the creation of its Auxiliary Air Marshall program. Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano said that the heroic efforts first displayed by the passengers of United Airlines flight 93 on September 11, 2001, and most recently by passenger Jasper Schuringa on the Christmas Day Northwest Airlines flight 253 to Detroit in preventing terrorist Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab from detonating his underwear bomb, showed both the need and viability of encouraging airline passengers to become auxiliary air marshals. “We simply don’t have enough regular air marshals to send on the thousands of flights originating from our own airports, let alone those originating from other countries bound for the United States. The recent examples of courage and ability shown by the passengers on 9/11 and Christmas Day have convinced us that everyday passengers can provide us with a cadre of guards to protect the flying public. Best of all, it will be at little cost to the Department of Homeland Security, which can actually reduce the number of its staff of professional air marshals and channel the payroll savings into the purchase of full-body scanners and more attractive TSA uniforms.” 

Under the program guidelines, both males and females will be eligible to obtain Auxiliary Air Marshall (AAM) status after completing a short questionnaire available at: homeland.security.us.gov/AAM and submitting it with 2 passport sized photographs, a copy of a frequent flyers program card from any US-based air carrier, and a letter of recommendation from their clergyman. Those persons approved will receive an official AAM identification badge. 

While AAM participants will not initially be permitted to carry firearms, Secretary Napolitano did not rule out the future possibility. AAM participants will receive some perks, however. For example, Southwest Airlines will permit all AAMs to be in the A 1 -15 queue for departing flights, and American Airlines will offer AAMs two free alcoholic beverages, although some Department of Homeland Security officials have questioned whether alcohol will make AAMs less vigilant. Other air carriers are expected to offer similar perks to encourage AAMs to fly with them, including unlimited peanuts and the use of restrooms even when the fasten seat belt sign is lit. The Obama administration is expected to introduce legislation in Congress which will extend “good Samaritan” type immunity to AAMs who mistakenly attack passengers who they believe are terrorists, but turn out to be just good citizens who act somewhat strangely during the flights, such as females with PMS, autistic children, and adults with Tourette syndrome, who might, for example, make unexpected jerking movements or yell “nigger” at black flight attendants. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-California) said that she expects the House to act quickly to pass such legislation, but Senate majority leader Harry Reid (D-Nevada) is not too optimistic. “I have already been told that Senator Ben Nelson wants gold AAM badges to be issued to AAMs from Nebraska, and who knows what Joe Lieberman will do to fuck up this important program."