3-D Printing Reproduces Damaged Member

New York City:  While most of the techno-hoopla lately has focused on the ability of 3-D printing to create models for such a wide range of goods from earrings to airplane parts, the medical community has also become very involved.  Researchers at prestigious institutions such as John Hopkins, Harvard Medical College, Hudson Valley Community College, and Stanford University have attempted to reproduce simple organisms using this new technology, but there are some real-life products that are actually being manufactured and used by those at the forefront of the medical community, vastly improving the lives of some men.

Dr. Lamont Bearishafertz, Ph.D., M.D., of New York City, is one of those visionaries.  Although a psychiatrist and OB-GYN physician, he religiously studied articles on Gizmo.com where he learned of the possibilities of 3-D printing.  After reading an article of 15 cases of penis removal on listverse.com, and learning that the dismemberment of penises is not as uncommon as generally believed, he purchased a Stratasys 3-D printer with a grant from the John and Lorena Bobbitt Foundation and set to work.  Using discarded human cells donated by a mohel, and computer images from Hustler magazine, Bearishafertz was able to manufacture a viable male penis, although smaller in scale than those lost by some gentile men.  While the manufacturing process is slow, and the attachment is tricky, the cost will likely be covered by Obamacare starting in 2014, according to Blue Cross and Blue Shield of New York.

Bearishafertz plans to increase both the quantity and quality of his product as the technology progresses.  The good doctor plans to raise the necessary funds to start production with his new business entity, Newcock, LLC, and will soon enter his product in Kickstarter.com, where he will seek $1,395,056.62 by December 31, 2013.  [Everyone contributing $25.00 will receive a color photo of the first 3-D manufactured penis.  Those contributing $100,000.00 or more will receive a "designer penis" when the technology permits].

"One of my OB-GYN clients recently told me that after having an affair with an African-American friend, she understood that 'once you go black, you can't go back is true," Bearishafertz said.  "I told her  that I might soon have the solution that will permit her to regain the former love-making she enjoyed with her Caucasian husband."