Saturday, October 5, 2019


Burlington, VT - Socialist Democrat candidate Bernie Sanders today announced that his Medicare for All will include coverage for pets.  "Why should cats, rabbits, dogs, and even pet birds do without proper health care",  Sanders said from his home where he is recovering from a recent heart attack. " I know that a lot of folks whose income puts them below the poverty line cannot afford proper veterinary care for the animal members of their household.  Under the Sanders plan, even those damn pit bulldogs would be covered, and I know that coverage will be appreciated by the African American Community."

When pressed for more details, Sanders did impose conditions, however.  He did not want the free coverage to apply to pets that were imported without going through the lawful immigration procedures, but would apply, for instance, to puppies born in the United States to illegally imported bitches.  "Sort of like the Dreamers program that I have been fighting for", he said. "Pre-existing conditions will be covered, such as hoof and mouth disease for pet horses."

Before drifting off for his afternoon nap, Mr. Sanders also told this reporter (off the record, because it has not yet been discussed with his staff), that he is considering free dog training for puppies at no cost, with classes to be provided by local community colleges.

"I will announce these important additions at the next Democratic debate, provided my stents hold", he said.