New Shampoo from P & G

CINCINNATI, OH – Proctor & Gamble Corporation today announced its newest shampoo. P & G (NYSE: PG), an industry leader in anti-itch products, noted famously for its Head and Shoulders shampoo, said that its new companion product, Groin, Pitts, & Pussy. “Like regular Head and Shoulders for the head, we learned that our customers needed a product to control itch on other, more private hairy parts of their body. Our chemists modified Head and Shoulders by substituting tree oil in place of Pyrithione Zinc (ZPT) and added a new and now proprietary ingredient that we purchased from a pharmacist in London who developed this remarkable drug while treating Piccadilly Circus street whores,” said Peter Gamble, the grandson of Horatio Proctor and Suzi Gamble, founders of the company, who is now Vice President of Itch Marketing. “Look for it soon on drug store shelves, near deodorant, feminine hygiene products, and rubbers,” Gamble said.