Hurricane Idalia To Hit Florida

TAMPA, FL- With the imminent approach of Hurricane Idalia, both state and local government agencies are providing up-to-date information, issuing evacuation warnings and mandates, and giving news reporters something to fill the 24-hour news broadcasters some relief from the Ukraine war and the Trump and associates indictments.

 

Hurricane will not affect Iowa

“My main concern with this hurricane,” Governor DeSantis said, “is that the transgenders, who, incidentally, are mostly undocumented immigrants, Communists, or Democrats, will use the restrooms in shelters without regard to their birth gender.  I have instructed law enforcement officials to be on the lookout and make appropriate arrests.  There has been some talk about flooding, beach erosion, and widespread property damage, but right now that is not a big concern in Iowa or New Hampshire.”

 

Local officials in the Tampa Bay area are concerned with the ecological and social effects of the hurricane. Grocery stores are empty of some basic supplies, such as toilet tissue, bread, beer, and comfort foods. Pharmacies report that they have been sold out of contraceptives and they are expecting a deluge of prescription medicines as many believe that the hurricane will bring outbreaks of malaria, Spanish flu, acne, and chlamydia.  The Hillsborough County sheriff also warned those residents who do not evacuate to beware of alligators that seek shelter in low-rise apartment buildings in downtown Tampa and to be sure to check the hallways before venturing out.

Seeks Higher Ground