Donald J. Trump's DNA Hacked

SANTA CRUZ - 23 and Me today announced that its laboratory reports have been hacked and leaked to Wikileaks.org.  Among the personal information obtained by the hackers, who are not linked to the Russian government or the Clinton campaign, are the DNA results of presidential candidate Donald J. Trump.

According to the leaked reports, Mr. Trump's DNA shows that his DNA is linked as follows:  40 percent to Orangatang, 20 percent to Nazi, 30 percent to African-American, and 10 percent to Ashkenazi Jewish moneylenders.

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Upset with DNA Results

23 and Me expressed its consternation that its laboratory results have been hacked.  Mr. Trump has asked that his friend, former U.S. Attorney and Mayor of NYC to "sniff out the bastard who did this.  I wouldn't put it past Lying Ted Cruz or Little Marco.  Jeb! has too low energy to have been responsible.