Gay Marriage Compromise Proposal

Cheyenne, WY.  Following the hoopla that has erupted following North Carolina's adoption of a constitutional amendment that effectively bans gay marriage, both sides of the political divide have hardened their respective positions. While the TGBT-liberal-commie-socialist side was disheartened by the North Carolina action, they were encouraged by the statements made by Vice President Biden who endorsed gay marriage and echoed by the Kenyan who half-heartedly supported that position since his daughters thought that it was fine.  At the same time, the neocon-evangelist-tea party Republicans began to renew their push for a federal constitutional amendment that would recognize marriage as a union solely between a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman.

Rep "Jake" Coprophagia

Just when it seemed as though the gulf between these two positions was widening, Richard "Jake" Coprophagia, an obscure Republican congressman from Wyoming who served that state for almost two decades, and is a member of the House subcommittee on Feral Cats (serving as its Assistant Chairman during Bush II), has put forth a compromise proposal which he believes will gain the support of all parties and put an end to the political haggling so that Congress and the Executive Branch can devote more time to haggling over other, more important matters.
"I propose an amendment to the United States Constitution that defines marriage 'as a union between a man and a woman, or between a woman and a woman'", Coprophagia said.  "That way, each side gets half a loaf, and we don't have to think about those fags and their santorum," Coprophagia told the assembled press that he had discussed his proposal with former Vice President Cheney, who, along with some family members, thought that it was a good idea.

wants whole loaf

The immediate reaction to the proposal has been mixed.  While Congressman Paul Ryan said that it was worthy of consideration, it lacked any tax reduction benefits and continued food stamps for unworthy poor people.  Sarah Palin did not have an immediate comment but said that she would read about it in one of the many newspapers she now has delivered to her former campaign office.  On the Democratic side, Congressman Barney Frank said that he would oppose it, saying "I want the whole loaf."