Ipads for Prisoners

Dannemora, New York - In ceremonies conducted today in this out-of-the-way upstate village, New York State Department of Corrections and Community Service Commissioner Brian Fischer announced a new pilot program designed to reduce violence between inmates and reduce the danger to the prison guards and personnel.  Funded by a 1.7 million dollar grant from the Department of Justice, all prisoners at the Clinton Correctional Facility will be given an Apple Ipad 2 preloaded with FarmVille.

"Our highly paid psychologists have suggested that playing FarmVille will serve a myriad of benefits.  First and foremost, it will keep the prisoners so busy that they won't have time to plan escapes or think of new ways to harass the screws.  We are hoping that the interaction will bring new friendship between the black convicts and their Caucasian and Hispanic brethren.  We are hopeful that it will even foster understanding and even friendship between the Crips and the Bloods."

"As an added benefit" Fischer continued, "playing FarmVille will prepare our inmates for agricultural vocations once they return to the community.  They will learn organic agriculture and even sheep breeding, important skills when they job hunt when they return to the cities from which they came and will probably return if they are ever paroled or max out."

"This morning we gave the first Farmville equipped Ipad to cop-killer Ralph "Bucky" Phillips, who was so gratified that he promised not to make another escape attempt, or to throw feces at the guards "

"My stay at this shit hole will be much less stressful now that I can play FarmVille with my prison buds,"  Bucky said.   "It will make the hundred or so years that I plan on being here quite tolerant, maybe even pleasant, and I was told that after ten years or so of good behavior I might be upgraded to Zynga's new game, 'Mafia Wars ' This positive step just reaffirms my faith that the Cuomo administration really cares about us miscreants"

While interested in the program, New York City Department of Corrections Dora B. Schriro, said that she thought that Zynga's  "Cityville" game might be better received by prisoners from urban areas.