Although my main focus as a news reporter is to simply report the news, I feel compelled to offer what, in my humble opinion, is the best solution to the immigration problem facing the United States: namely, where to resettle those Cuban, Mexican, Guatemalan, and other residents of what former president Donald Trump called “shithole countries” that are flooding our southern border.
My solution: simply relocate them to Puerto Rico! That territory is part of the old US of A and would be more hospitable than New York City, Chicago, or Martha’s Vineyard (maybe not Martha’s Vineyard). In any case, most of the immigrants are Spanish speaking, so they would have no language barrier in PR, and the climate is more like the warmth that they are used to. Sure, PR has been devastated by hurricanes and other natural disasters, but those immigrants are used to living under these conditions. Also, PR needs to resupply its population, since most native PRs have already “gotten out of Dodge” and moved to the continental United States.
Our Department of Homeland Security could also alleviate the border issues facing Arizona, Texas, and California by simply offering low-cost flights to PR from neighboring Haiti, Cuba, and Central American countries, and rent cruise and container ships to bring those immigrants who have already crossed the border back to PR. The Department could even house the refugees in used shipping containers, which are inexpensive and probably better suited to the recurring hurricanes than the tin roof houses in which many now reside.
I stand ready to present my proposal in detail to a joint session of Congress, who can contact me at Holbrook.Spitzer@gmail.com.
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