Washington Redskins to Change Name

Team Owner Snyder

WASHINGTON - This reporter has exclusively learned that the Washington Redskins NFL team owner has agreed to change the name of his football team, following the double whammy of the United States Patent Office removing its trademark, and a rumor that team owner Donald Snyder once, in a private conversation, mentioned that the team had a "nigger" player.

Sports Analyst Savannah Guthrie

Team Logo

The compromise, to be announced on NBC's Monday Night Football by NBC's sports analyst, Savannah Guthrie, will change the name of the team to "Washington Injuns".  No change will be made to the team's logo.

 Not all Redskin Americans were satisfied with the name change.  Chief Geronimo Schwartz, who acts as counsel and spokesperson for the Native American Casino Owners Association (NACOA), likened Mr. Snyder to George Custer, although when questioned at length, Chief Schwartz said that the change of the team's name to the Washington Injuns might prove beneficial to the tribes he represents since they own the "Injuns" trademark, and might be able to cut a licensing deal with Snyder.  He said that he will explore that possibility on a new segment of ABC's "Shark Tank" later this summer.

Chief Geronimo Schwartz