EL PASSO - This reporter today learned of Donald Trump's plan to implement his immigration policy even before taking office as president in 2017. Infamous hacker Edward Snowden first learned of The Donald's plan by reading his email, easy to do because Trump relies on AOL mail sent on an IBM PC running Windows Vista.
According to the information gathered by Mr. Snowden, and sent exclusively to this reporter because of our long friendship, Mr. Trump plans to induce Mexicans to return to their homeland by a unique operation.
Mr. Trump's real estate empire has purchased large tracks of land just south of the Rio Grande and constructed tent cities.
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| Trump Tent City - Juarez, Mexico |
Trump's plan is to campaign in Texas and Arizona cities near the Mexican border. While there, he will offer to take Mexican children for a ride in his helicopter.
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| Trump's Helicopter Taking Off With Mexican Children |
Once aboard, the children will be transported across the border and dropped off at a Trump Tent City. Upon the helicopter's return, the frantic parents will willingly go back to Mexico to be reunited with their children. Mr. Trump has arranged for the parents to get complimentary Greyhound bus tickets back to Mexico, thus freeing his helicopter to give more Mexican children rides.
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Mexican Children Volunteering for a Helicopter Ride
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"Once I am President and Commander in Chief," Trump e-mailed his campaign staff, "we will fly all of the undocumented Latinos back to Mexico using military airplanes, where they can rob and rape to their heart's content." Mr. Trump said that he has been assured by Texas Governor Perry that the Texas Air National Guard will be ready to assist. "Obviously that douche bag Perry forgot that he won't be the governor of Texas in January 2017, Trump said.
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