Dennis Rodman Appointed Nuclear Weapons Broker

Kim and Dennis discuss marketing strategy

Pyongyang, North Korea - North Korean president Kim Jong-Un today announced that his government has appointed former basketball star Dennis Rodman as its official weapons broker. Rodman, who has made several visits to President Kim Jong-Un, his "dear friend for life", in the past couple of years, has formed Nuke, LLC, a limited liability company registered in Tehran, Iran.

"Nuke, LLC, will market North Korean technology to the technology and weapons starved middle eastern nations," said Rodman.  Although my company has only been in business for a couple of days, I have already been approached by the representative of a mid-eastern country which indicated its desire to purchase several nuclear weapons from North Korea.  I have been assured that the proposed purchases are for peaceful use only", said Rodman.  He declined, however, to identify the proposed purchaser or his compensation agreement with his dear friend for life.

"Unlike other African-American athletes who have formed record companies, invested in restaurants and bars, or just shacked up with white broads, I have formed an organization which will have a global impact and helps maintain the high employment of workers in the Asian part of the world."

[Note:  Mr. Rodman's statements were originally made in Ebonics, but have been translated for this report by Rev. Al Sharpton]

Dennis is "fucking it up"

United States Secretary of State John Kerry was clearly unhappy with the Jong-Un - Rodman deal.  "This could fuck up our negotiations that are designed to keep Israel safe until at least the end of the Obama administration", Kerry said.